According to recent research, kids who state the obvious, such as, "I don't want this present—ugly!" it's are more likely to succeed in life. are subject to harsher judgment by adults than those who embellish the facts to be kind or safeguard others.
According to new research, children who say blunt truths like "I don't want this present — it's ugly!" are judged harsher by adults than those who bend the truth to be polite or protect others.
The study, which was published in the peer-reviewed Journal of Moral Education, demonstrates the mixed messages that adults give children about lying versus telling the truth in various contexts.
"This research tends to show that there exists a complicated relationship with the truth that children must navigate in order to learn what is socially acceptable," explains lead author Dr. Laure Brimbal of Texas State University's School of Criminal Justice & Criminology.
"At some point, most parents will have been embarrassed or upset by their children's brutal honesty. Telling lies is a normal part of a child's social development."
"Children are taught that lying is wrong, but they develop the ability to tell lies from an early age," she adds. Despite conflicting messages from adults about the acceptability of lying versus truth-telling, we know little about the mechanisms and processes that underpin the development and shaping of the critical social skill of prosocial lying.
"Our findings show that children are learning about honesty in a complex environment. Lying to fit in with others' expectations appears to be an important social skill, despite potentially conflicting messages from their adult caregivers that lying is wrong... Furthermore, being honest can be perceived as unkind at times."
The findings come after 267 adults from the Northeast United States were shown videos of children aged 6 to 15 telling the truth or lying in various social situations.
The 24 different children lied in some scenarios to protect others. For example, a child lying about the location of their sister, who was in trouble with their parents. In other cases, children lied to avoid hurting someone's feelings, such as telling a "white lie."
The kids acted out four different 'blank' or subtle lies or truths. In the hiding sister scenario, for example, the "blunt lie" was "she went to the library to do homework"; the "subtle truth" was "I think she might be outside"; the "subtle lie" was "I think she might have gone to bed or something"; and the "blunt truth" was "she's under the porch."
Following each video, the adults rated the child's character, including trustworthiness, kindness, dependability, competence, likeability, intelligence, and honesty. Participants rated how likely they would be to punish or reward the child for lying or telling the truth if they were the child's parent.
The results showed that adults judged blunt truth-tellers harsher than those who lied or told vague truths, but only when they lied to be polite. When children lied to protect others, telling the truth or telling lies had less of an impact on how adults perceived the child.
Overall, study participants said they would most reward children for telling subtle truths,' such as "I think she might be outside" in the example of the hiding sister.
The study's findings paint a complicated picture of how adults perceive the lies that children tell in order to fit in and be seen positively. By examining which behaviors adults would reward or punish in children, the findings suggest how these perceptions shape children's process of learning to behave in a way that is acceptable to society – a process known as socialization.'
"Given the pervasive influence of socialization influences on children's behavior, as well as the mixed messages children receive about lying, it is little wonder that they engage in nuanced lie-telling from an early age," Dr. Brimbal adds.
"Our study demonstrates how inconsistent adults are in their evaluations and self-reported behavioral responses to children of various ages who lie or tell the truth. The question of whether their in-person behavior would follow suit remains unanswered, but it is likely that these contradictory explicit and implicit messages about honesty and dishonesty act as socializing influences and shape children's early behavior."
"Our study demonstrates how inconsistent adults are in their evaluations and self-reported behavioral responses to children of various ages who lie or tell the truth. The question of whether their in-person behavior would follow suit remains unanswered, but it is likely that these contradictory explicit and implicit messages about honesty and dishonesty act as socializing influences and shape children's early behavior."
Source:
Taylor & Francis Group provided the materials. Please keep in mind that content may be edited for style and length.
Journal citation:
A. M. Crossman and L. Brimbal Perceptions of children's blunt honesty as inconvenient truth-tellers. DOI: 10.1080/03057240.2022.2109606 Journal of Moral Education, 2022; 1 DOI: 10.1080/03057240.2022.2109606